


Miss You In A Heartbeat

by HallucinogenicPandas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: "You don't think you deserve to be loved", AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bartender Cas, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Shot, Porn, Self-Loathing, Trucker Dean, bar sex, make-up sex, you know typical dean stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:45:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallucinogenicPandas/pseuds/HallucinogenicPandas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What felt like an eternity had really only been about a month. Three weeks and four days, to be exact. Twenty five days since Dean left, and every morning, when Cas would wake up to an empty, Dean-less bed, he felt a little bit more of himself die and grow cold, just like the blankets that used to belong to bright green eyes and a dusting of freckles."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss You In A Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I'm not generally a one-shot kind of gal, but here we are. I really debated on whether or not to make this a one-shot or a multi-chapter thing, because it could be either one. I finally decided on a one-shot because fuck you, I can do whatever I want with my own fic. But, even though it's a one-shot, I'm totally willing to do timestamps. So, if there's something you want to see, comment and I can do that.  
> My friend actually gave me the original idea for this, and I've been thinking about it for a while, but today she was a little bit upset, so I told her I'd write this to cheer her up. True friendship is when you write porn for each other when the other person's upset. If you enjoyed this, you can thank Satan. Her angst and emotional problems are the reason I'm writing this.

Cas slid the beer across the bar to the man who had ordered it. He tried to keep a straight face to hide his pain, but from the worried looks Alfie, Jo, and the others had been giving him all night, he wasn't doing as well as he'd thought. He met the man's eyes, and noticed a flash of green. It wasn't quite the same shade, but it was close enough that he was reminded of Dean anyway. He got another beer from the tap, and this time the man who he passed it to had on a worn leather jacket. This was going to be a long night.

What felt like an eternity had really only been about a month. Three weeks and four days, to be exact. Twenty five days since Dean left, and every morning, when Cas would wake up to an empty, Dean-less bed, he felt a little bit more of himself die and grow cold, just like the blankets that used to belong to bright green eyes and a dusting of freckles.

He went to get another drink, hoping that this time the patron wouldn't dig up bad memories. Or good memories turned bad with what happened afterwards. Cas tilted his head back, and closed his eyes, drinking in the sounds from the bar. The quiet murmuring of the Sunday night patrons. The clink of glasses. Music wafted down from the overhead speakers.

_I know you think that love is the way you make it_  
 _So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it_  
 _No!_  
  
 _Love bites, love bleeds_  
 _It's bringin' me to my knees_  
 _Love lives, love dies_  
 _It's no surprise_  
 _Love begs, love pleads_  
 _It's what I need..._

A wave of emotion hit him, and he shut his eyes even tighter. He hadn't been there when things broke, but that was the worst part of the whole thing. Not knowing what he'd done wrong, what he wasn't given the chance to do to fix it. Not being able to plead. _Love Bites_. Wise words in the form of the kind of power ballad Dean professed to hate, but sang along to while he was driving anyway.   

Great. Now he couldn't even listen to the radio without thinking about things that he wanted to forget. Life in general bites. His eyes threatened to tear up, but he held it in, because he refused to cry. Dean didn't deserve his sorrow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The woman leaned in close to Dean, so close that he could almost taste her booze soaked breath. Starlett, her name was. Or something like that. Dean downed another shot and relished the numbing effect it had on him. Anything to forget blue eyes and messy dark sex hair. Instead, he focused on brown eyes and long blonde waves. She leaned in. So did he. Their lips met, and Dean got lost in the taste and feel of it. She moved easily against him, and when her tongue poked at his lips, trying to invade his mouth, he willingly let her in. It wasn't until her hands wandered to the edge of his shirt and tried to reach underneath that the past came to haunt him. He could feel larger, more calloused hands on the back of his neck, ghosting over his abs and pectorals, palming below the belt, taking him in hand, and gripping his shoulders so hard they left red marks as he pushed inside another warm body, and he couldn't do it. He pulled away from Starlett, a thin spider's trail of saliva hanging between them.

"I- I'm sorry, um..."

"Starlett." She seemed somewhat used to men not knowing her name, and sounded resigned.

"Yeah, um, Starlett, you see, I, um, I can't..."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. You don't know what you're missing out on, buddy." She huffily walked away, looking back once or twice.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Dean wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of anything. Twenty five days, and it still wasn't enough. It might never be enough. Cas would eventually have left anyway, and Dean knew it, but he still wasn't sure if he had really saved himself pain, or just made it worse by ending things prematurely. Cas probably didn't even miss him. It was probably a relief to him that Dean was gone. It hurt, thinking things like that, but they had to be thought, because they were probably true. He needed to talk to someone before it all blew out of control.

He stepped outside of the bar into the chilly night air, and hit number one, his phone immediately ringing up Sam's number. Sam didn't answer, so Dean left a message.

"Sammy, listen. You need to pick up, I need to talk to you. I know why you've been ignoring me, but it's not fair. I need to talk to someone. We can even have one of those heart-to-heart chick-flick moments you're always trying to get me into. I just need to hear your voice. Please call back."

About sixty seconds after Dean had hung up, Asia's  _Heat of The Moment_ started playing on his phone, and he breathed a sigh of relief that Sam was not as stubborn as he was.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah."

"So talk. And this had better be about Cas, by the way."

"I didn't call to talk about Cas."

"Okay, bye." Sam hung up.

Dean called again, but had to leave another message. "Sam! Stop being a bitch. I just- I just... I can't... Fine. We'll talk about Cas. Happy now?"

 _Heat of The Moment_ played again, and Dean immediately picked up.

"I'm never happy, jerk."

"Well I guess it runs in the family, then."

"Don't start, Dean. The only reason you're not happy is because of your stupid decisions."

"Sam-"

"No, Dean. You need to stop this self pity crap. It's getting annoying, especially when it's your fault."

"This would have happened eventually, Sam. I just ended it before it could get worse. He would have left eventually. He deserves better."

"Bull. You're just scared, Dean."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of the way you feel."

"And how do I feel, Sammy? Enlighten me, because I sure'd like to know."

"You know exactly what I mean, Dean. You're scared because you don't want to get too close because of what might or might not happen."

"It would've happened eventually, Sammy."

"Dean, he loved you."

"He would have gotten over it."

"Dean, did you just call so that you'd have someone to fight with? I hope you weren't looking for sympathy, because you're not getting it."

"I just needed someone to talk to."

"Well, in that case, I have the perfect candidate who's not me."

"Dammit Sam, if you say Cas-"

"Who else would I say, Dean? The Tooth Fairy? If you really want her to come, I can knock a couple of your teeth out."

"Sam, I'm not gonna talk to Cas. It's been a month. He's probably forgotten about me already."

"Why don't you unblock his number and find out?"

"Sam-"

"I'm serious, Dean. Whether or not he cares, he deserves an explaination."

"Well too bad I can't give him one. If I try to talk to to him I'll just end up begging to come back, and I'll end up telling him that I- and I'll be right where I started."

"You could text him."

"No. He deserves more than a text."

"That's what I've been saying all along, Dean."

"Shut up, I just..."

"I know, Dean. But would it be so bad to come crawling back to him? You love him, so-"

"I never said I loved him."

"You wouldn't be acting like this if you didn't."

"I-"

"Don't start, Dean. Just go talk to him."

"No."

"If you don't at least tell him why you left, I'll never talk to you again."

"Fine. I'll go talk to him."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, but don't expect anything to change."

"I won't. Just as long as he knows why."

"Yeah, okay. Talk to you later, bro." Dean hung up on his brother and sighed. No turning back now. The thing he'd been avoiding for a month had finally come. He knew that he'd end up telling Cas exactly how he felt, and he'd beg for forgiveness and for Cas to take him back. Cas probably would, too. But what if he didn't? That was the worst thing to think about. what if Cas really did hate him? He didn't think he could handle that.

Dean got into his car, turned the key in the ignition, and started driving.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 _"Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all?"_   Cas didn't remember who had said it, but he'd quote it to himself anyway, trying to come up with an answer, but failing to succeed. His time with Dean were some of the happiest days of his life, especially that last day. 

 

_Dean's lips were hot on his, full of want. Cas pushed him away playfully._

_"What was that for?" Dean looked indignant, and the effect was adorable and funny at the same time. He looked rather like a scruffy puppy who'd went to retirieve the stick, only to realize that his master hadn't actually thrown it at all._

_"You're cute when you're upset and needy. I like to make you work for your treats."_

_"You're evil."_

_"Yes, Dean. I'm glad you've finally realized this. Bow to your overlord."_

_"Oh, gladly." Suddenly, Cas' fly was open, and Dean was kneeling in front of him, swallowing as much of him as humanly possible. Cas grasped at Dean's hair, trying and failing not to tug a little harder than necessary. Dean's mouth slid off him with a filthy wet pop, and he smiled up at his boyfriend, a little too pleased with himself._

_"Well don't stop."_

_"Bossy." Dean stood up, grinning now. "Now who's cute when they're upset?"_

_"Still you."_

_"Whatever. I think I worked enough for my treat."_

_"That you did." Cas grabbed Dean by the back of his neck and crashed their mouths together. When they came up for air, Cas leaned his forehead against the other man's, and they breathed each other's air. Dean's eyes were full of adoration, and Cas was sure he looked much the same._

_"I love you." Cas hadn't even realized he'd said the words until Dean tensed up under him. It was the first time Cas had voiced this thought out loud, and Dean didn't seem to be taking it well. Maybe he didn't feel the same?_

_"Cas, I-"_

_"Dean, it's fine. You don't have to say it back."_

_"Thanks, Cas. I just don't think I'm ready yet."_

_"I understand, Dean." He tentatively brought his lips up to the other man's, feering that myabe Dean wouldn't reciprocate after his slip up. Dean did reciprocate, though, and he did so well that he had Cas hanging on to his shoulders for dear life, possibly even drawing a little bit of Dean's blood. They fell asleep tangled up in each other, drenched in sweat, and feeling content._

_When Cas woke up, he did so alone, the spot where Dean had been the night before cold and empty. Cas checked his small apartment for any sign of Dean, only to find that everything Dean owned was gone, the only evidence that Dean was ever there a tied off condom in the trash can, and a text message on his phone that simply read, "I'm sorry, Cas. Goodbye."_

_Cas never cried, but he suddenly found himself in need of a new bedside lamp, and a broom to sweep up the glass shards. He tried calling and texting Dean about a million times, but after the first week he gave up. Dean didn't want to see him. They were through._

Now, whenever Cas thought about the happy times, he was reminded of how wrong it had gone. How broken he was now. It would be easier to just forget it, pretend like none of it had ever happened. To pretend like he'd never loved. The problem was, though, that he had, and everywhere reminded him of Dean. The couch, where they watched movies together. The kitchen, where Dean had made him dinner. The bathroom, where they'd take showers together. The bed, where they'd curl up around each other and talk about their dreams. Even the bar, where they'd done it for the first time. It all hurt, and nothing could dull the pain.

Yeah. Definitely better to have never loved.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

 

Dean tapped the steering wheel as he waited for the light to change green. He was nervous, understandably. He had absolutely no idea what to say to Cas that would fully explain himself. He couldn't explain something he didn't understand that well himself. If Cas hadn't hated him before, he certainly would now. Or worse, he wouldn't care one way or the other. Cas had told Dean that he loved him, but things like this were extremely changeable, and that didn't mean anything. He couldn't have meant it.

 

_"I love you." Dean had tensed up at the words. He wasn't sure how to respond. Cas loved him. Or said he did. It was hard to believe anyone could love him, especially since it wasn't the first time someone had lied to him about this kind of thing. He wanted to believe it, but Cas was so amazing, and Dean was just, Dean. So he just stood there, for lack of anything else to do._

_He figured that he should say something. "Cas, I-"  Cas cut him off, the gravelly tone of his voice sounding a little scared._

_"Dean, it's fine. You don't have to say it back." A wave of gratitude rolled over him, and he found he was able to breathe a little easier. Whether or not Cas was telling the truth, he was still a great boyfriend._

_"Thanks Cas. I just don't think I'm ready yet." It was true. He wasn't ready, and he might never be._

_"I understand, Dean." Despite not being ready, Dean reciprocated when Cas kissed him, and they had one of the best nights that they'd ever had. Even a month later, Dean would still have marks on his shoulders. Still, though, in the back of his mind, the mantra of "You're not good enough. He doesn't really love you. Don't get too close or it'll hurt like a bitch when he leaves you." kept running the marathon of Dean's brain. He managed to push it aside long enough to fall asleep tangled in Cas' muscled limbs, only to have it cross the finish line into complete and utter fear at around two-a.m._

_He knew that he wasn't strong enough. He had to leave, and he had to do it now, before Cas woke up. He carefully untangled himself without waking the little angel up, and set about gathering all of his tuff together and into his car. It only took fifteen minutes to tear down everything that he'd built up here, and he had to force himself not to wake Cas up, to explain to him why he was leaving, to kiss him goodbye. But he didn't, because he knew he wasn't strong enough to leave if he had to look Cas in the eyes while he left. So instead, he clicked the door shut behind him, and sent a text once he was in the safety of his car._

The light made the change from red and Dean put his foot on the gas pedal, accelerating forward at speeds way above the speed limit. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. There was no scenario where it ended well, so why was he trying? For Sammy? No, that wasn't it. Despite his threats, Sam would eventually talk to him again. So what was it?

The radio interrupted his thoughts, and Dean, disgusted at the weird poppy crap they passed off as music, made to change the channel, until he realized that he knew the song. Cas had loved it, and Dean suddenly found that he was unable to turn the dial.

_If you love me let me go_  
 _If you love me let me go_  
 _‘Cause these words are knives and often leave scars_  
 _The fear of falling apart_  
 _And truth be told, I never was yours_  
 _The fear, the fear of falling apart..._

Is that what he had done? He was scared that he'd fall apart, sure, but had he left Cas because he was in love with him, or because he was scared of getting hurt? He didn't know. He was scared of getting hurt, but he also loved Cas. Dean started as he thought this. The words had come so easily to mind. He loved Cas. That wasn't going to change anytime soon, so he might as well get it out for real. But how easy would it be to tell Cas? The answer: not at all. It would be really fucking hard. It didn't matter, though, because he's never be able to live with himself if he didn't. Even if Cas didn't take him back, even if he'd never loved him at all, he loved Cas.

Dean pushed the gas pedal impossibly closer to the floor, and sped his way towards his future.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The last customers had left the bar, and the workers were quickly following suit. Cas didn't bother hurrying, it was his bar, he was always the last one to leave. He got a wet rag from the kitchen in the back, and started wiping down the tables.

"Hey, Cas, I'm leaving, are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, Jo. You get home befor eyour mother starts to worry."

"Okay, sure thing. Want me to lock up?"

"No, I'll do it." 

"Okay, see you tomorrow." The door closed behind her, and all Cas heard was silence and the overhead radio.

About ten minutes after Jo had left, Cas heard the front door open, and a gust of cold air invaded the bar. without looking up, Cas stated, "We're closed. Come back tomorrow." When the person made no move to leave, Cas looked up, ready to tell them to leave before he called the cops, and stopped dead in his tracks. Dean looked back at him, searching for something in his eyes. Cas stood up straighter, setting his shoulders back, his gaze colder than the Arctic on Christmas. "Get out."

"Cas..."

"Now."

"I just want to talk, Cas."

"You missed you chance to talk twenty five days ago, Dean." He didn't care is he sounded pathetic for counting the days since Dean left, so he stated them loud and clear, hoping to hurt Dean just a little bit. It didn't matter if he sounded pathetic anyway, Dean had already made it clear that he didn't want him.

"Cas, I'm-" Dean did look like Cas' comment stung him, and he looked away, ashamed.

"Don't, Dean. If you think you can just make it all better by coming back here at midnight withour so much as a word for a month, you are sorely mistaken."

"I don't expect you to take me back." Dean's voice wavered. Just a little.

"Good. Because after what you did, you don't deserve it."

"Cas..." Dean's voice was more urgent now, almost pleading.

"If it was about what I said, then I'm really not sorry at all. I told you that you didn't have to say it back." Cas was starting to rant, and this wasn't good at all because he'd end up saying something that he'd regret, because those three words that had slipped out of his mouth that night still applied.

"I know." Dean ran his hand through his hair, looking for all the world even more gorgeous than the last time Cas had seen him. Those three words hung in the air between them.

_I love you._

"I love you too." Cas couldn't believe the words he was hearing. He must be dreaming again. No way this was real life.

When Cas didn't respond, Dean seemed to give up. "If... if you don't feel that way anymore, or if you never did, it's fine, alright? Because I just had to come here and say it, no matter what you think of me now. I know what I did was shitty, and I deserve to be hated. See ya, Cas." Dean turned to leave, but before he could, Cas had closed the space between them and grabbed Dean's arm, causing him to turn back around.

"Why?" It was a simple question. But not at the same time. _Why did you leave? Why did you never say goodbye? Why are you here now? Why did you wait so long to tell me you love me?_ Dean seemed to get it though, because he was able to answer.

"Because it would have been too hard to say goodbye, Cas. I knew I couldn't leave with you telling me not to, and I finally realized that you deserve a proper goodbye."

"Why did you go in the first place?"

"Cas, I..."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not good enough, and I... shit. Sorry. I thought I could do this, but I can't. This month's been hell without you man. I need you, Cas." Dean looked at Cas full on, the look in his eyes more broken than Cas had ever seen them. "and, I know that I don't deserve to be loved, and I don't deserve to love, but I need you, and you do deserve to be loved, and I... I love you..." Dean was truly pleading now, his eyes shiny from tears.

Cas sucked in a breath. "Why don't you deseerve to be loved, Dean? What makes you so much worse than any other guy out there?"

"I'm broken, Cas. I'll always be broken, and you're amazing. You deserve better than a deadbeat truck driver."

"I own a bar, Dean."

"What's your point?"

Cas leaned his head on Dean's shoulder, completely forgetting about the boundaries that should be between ex's and muttered, "I hate you sometimes."

Dean sounded defeated. "I knew it. I should just go..."

Cas looked up quickly. "No, Dean. I just got you back. Don't you dare leave."

"But you just said-"

"I was joking Dean. You're the one who tought me a lot of humor to begin with."

"That wasn't funny."

"I wasn't laughing, Dean. I just couldn't believe that you left me because you think I'm too good for you."

"That's not the only reson."

"Then what?"

"I, I was afraid that you would leave me. That you didn't really love me. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Dean, I can't believe you. I'd never lie to you, and I'll always love you."

"Always is a long time, Cas."

"I know."

Neither man was sure when they'd moved so close together, but by now they were almost sharing the same air.

Dean whisped against Cas' mouth, tickling him with his warm breath. "If I kiss you now, will you pull away? I wouldn't blame you."

"No, Dean. As long as you promise never to leave me again."

"Deal." Dean moved in the last centimeters, and they were kissing. It was tentative as first, close mouthed and chaste, until Cas moved one hand to rest at the back of Dean's neck, and the other to sqeeze his ass. After that, it was all tongues and teeth, the two men practically mauling each other in an attempt to get closer. Cas hadn't even realized that they were moving until he was pressed between the edge of the bar and Dean's tented trousers. Dean wedged his knee in between Cas' thighs and ground down, making him groan deeply into the other man's mouth.

"Hey, Cas." Dean's breath was hot and needy against his mouth, and Cas shuddered at the ridiculous amount of pleasure it gave him. Twenty five days apart was far too long for both of them, it seemed.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas noticed how wrecked his voice sounded, and knew he was done for. He'd always be done for where Dean was concerned.

"Remember our first time? On top of the bar?"

Cas nodded. Anyone looking on to the scene would be confused, but Cas knew exactly what Dean meant. "Of course I do, Dean. It was the best night of my life up to that point."

Dean groaned. "You wanna repeat it, then?"

"Oh god, yes."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cas felt so good against him, and Dean couldn't believe that he had ever even thought of giving this up. He hoisted Cas up onto the countertop of the bar, and was quickly pulled up as well. The radio played, and Dean started to appreciate how much radios had been helping him lately.

_I believe, that there's something deep inside_  
 _That shouldn't be from time to time._  
 _I sure found out, thought love was such a crime_  
 _The more you care, the more you fall_  
 _No need to worry, no need to turn away_  
 _'Cause it don't matter, anyway..._

Cas' hand reached underneath his shirt and pulled it up over his head, Dean following suit and soon enough both men were down to their boxers on the bar. Cas noticed the red marks on Dean's shoulders that, while faded, were still quite visible. He traced his tongue over the marks, biting the ones that weren't quite as tender, all the while grinding down on Dean, making him squirm and grasp at his hair for purchase. Dean regretted leaving Cas, but if this was how he acted when Dean came back, he not-seriously contemplated doing it again. Cas was less dominant than Dean by nature, so when he took control like some kind of wild thing, Dean got more turned-on than he ever normally did.

_(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _I miss you in a heartbeat_  
 _(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _I miss you right away_  
 _(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _I miss you in a heartbeat_  
 _'cause it ain't love, if it don't feel that way_  
 _oh no..._

Cas moved his way down Dean's flushed chest, paying extra attention to his nipples, licking and biting all the way down to the edge of his boxers, and all Dean could do was bury his face in Cas' hair and neck, whispering softly. Before he knew it, his boxers were being mouthed at, and Dean thought he might just die on the spot. He denies ever whimpering, but if any time were a good time to whimper, then would be it.

"Dean," Cas was still addressing Dean's crotch, "Let me in. I need to be inside you. I need this."

"What the hell are you waiting for?" Cas grinned, and in a flash, Dean's bare ass was against the cold wood of the bar, and he was probably leaking precome all over. Cas stood up on his knees, and slowly pulled his own underwear down until those were gone too, and they had been thrown somewhere among the tables and chairs to be found by some patron the next day, probably.

_When we touch, I just lose my self control_  
 _A sad sensation I can't hide_  
 _To love is easy, it ain't easy to walk away_  
 _I keep the faith and there's a reason why, yeah_  
 _No need to worry, no need to turn away_  
 _'Cause it don't matter, anyway_  
 _baby..._

Cas ground down again, the skin-on-skin contact nearly making Dean lose it way too soon. Cas seemed to sense this, and whispered in his ear, "Not yet. Don't you dare come until I'm inside you." Dean nodded obediently, wanting Cas to get it over with already at the same time that he wanted it to drag on forever. Cas went to rech in his pocket for a condom and lube, until he realized that he wasn't wearing any pants. He started to get up, but Dean stopped him.

"No."

"Dean, we need-"

"I don't want to use a condom. I don't want anything between us."

"Me too, Dean, but we need lube to-" Cas stopped abruptly when Dean grabbed his hand and put the fingers in his mouth and started sucking on them. Cas groaned as Dean worked his fingers with his tongue and got them as wet as possible. Dean took Cas' fingers out of his moth and guided them to his entrance.

"I beg to differ, Cas." That was all the invitation he needed.

_(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _I miss you in a heartbeat_  
 _(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _Yeah I miss you right away_  
 _(oohh oohh oohh)_  
 _I miss you in a heartbeat_  
 _'cause it ain't love, if it don't feel that way..._

Cas pushed into Dean with his fingers, one at first, and then working his way up, scissoring and stretching as Dean writhed beneath him. The burn of it travelled through Dean until he thought he would spontaneously combust. "I'm ready, Cas. Do it. I need you inside me now."

Cas pulled out, but Dean hardly winced at the loss in anticipation for what was coming. "Spit on my hand, Dean." Cas ordered.

Instead, though, Dean spit on his own hand, and slicked up Cas' dick as slow as possible.

"Hurry up, Dean."

"Alright, fine. Bossy."

Once Dean's hands were out of the way, Cas positioned himself at Dean's entrance, and torturously slow, he pushed in. Suddenly, Dean really did feel like he was about to combust. His blood was fire in his veins, and he thought that he might die. He's never done this without a condom, let alone lube before, and it was all new. Once Cas had settled in, Dean's breathing slowed, and he didn't like it. 

"Move." Cas happily obliged,  and pulled mostly out before practically slamming back in, over and over again, hitting Dean's sweet spot nearly every time. On a particularly hard thrust, Cas let out a yowl, and he was coming, hot and burning, into Dean. The sensation and the sound of Cas falling apart was more than enough for Dean, and soon, he was coming right along with him, pulsing all over their stomachs.

 _Now, I ain't big on promises, I'll be true to you_  
 _'Cause I'd do 'bout anything, yeah_  
 _for some one like, baby for_ you...

When Dean came down from the clouds of bliss, he found a particularly ruffled and happy Cas smiling down at him and the mess he'd made all over his bar.

"Well this is certainly unhygenic."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Cas kissed him softly as he pulled out, Dean already aching at the loss. "We should get cleaned up."

"Nah, I like it here."

"Wouldn't you rather go up to bed?"

"You're okay with that? Even after... you know..."

"Of course I am Dean, just... don't go this time, okay?"

"Sure thing, Cas. I'll never leave you again."

They made their way up to Cas' apartment above the bar, stark naked, with their clothes strewn all over the bar. They'd have to remember to clean that up before the bar opened the next day, or Jo would have a fit.

They collapsed onto their bed, and this time, when Cas fell asleep tangled with Dean, he woke up exactly the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_(oohh oohh oohh)_   
_I miss you in a heartbeat_   
_(oohh oohh oohh)_   
_yeah I miss you right away_   
_(oohh oohh oohh)_   
_oh, I'm gonna miss you in a heartbeat_   
_'cause it ain't love, if it don't feel that way..._   


 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment! I live off of your feedback. It means a great deal to me. Thanks for reading, my lovelies. (Remember, if you give me timestamp requests, I will totally take them into consideration.)
> 
> Songs used:  
> Love Bites- Def Leppard  
> This is Gospel- Panic! At The Disco  
> Miss You In A Heartbeat- Def Leppard


End file.
